I was inspired to write this note after reading my friend’s status, where she wrote that “love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one”, so the question is , is love really “like a ghost” , a figment of our imagination? Or is it a lost cause that doesn’t exist in the first place?
Putting my cynic tendencies aside, I would say that love does exist somewhere, in some corner of our vast universe. But, does it really exist in the way we want it to. Is love really the greatest thing on earth? Is it the one thing that will make our lives beautiful? If we want to believe that our lives can include great love stories like those we see in the movies then yes let’s keep looking for that great love. But before we go crazy looking let us take a few minutes to sample what it is movies, songs, and great pieces of literature are telling us exactly about this “great love”.
In movies we almost always hear music in the background when two people kiss, so if you or me are listening for the music, then I would say to us all good luck. On Earth, love comes in silent mode.
Is love really something that transcends time, place, and class. In movies it certainly is. In “The Notebook”, for example, we see a rich girl finally being with the man of her dreams despite the fact that he is from a totally different social class. Does that happen in real life, if so are the happy lovers always happy?
I, and this is only my opinion, believe that movies don’t tell us the whole story, they don’t tell us how a construction guy probably smelled of sweat , or how a butcher smelled of meat, or how a maid smelled of detergents after a long day of work . In fact they show the construction man as the big muscular male who is handsome, thoughtful, and charming. They show us the butcher as also the sensitive guy who is into art, and they portray the attractive maid as the lady who wants to study law. I am not saying that these combinations don’t exist but what is the possibility of you or me being lucky enough to find them in this lifetime .In “Maid in Manhattan”, for example, Jenifer Lopez ends up with the man of status despite the fact that she is a maid when in reality the chances of that happening are very slim. Similarly, Richard Gere ends up with the prostitute in “Pretty Woman”, because miraculously she is a beautiful, charming, and understanding prostitute, but then again how many prostitute are as appealing as Julia Roberts in real life ? If this is the love we are talking about then it is a love in hideing!
Ideals change in movies . Everything is made possible in the name of love. In a movie like “The Bridges of Madison County”, we learn to forget the fact that the woman cheated on her husband. Instead we become involved in the story of two people who fall madly in love in four days,. We forgive the married woman who had an affair simply because Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood look so good in love. We believe that we can fall in love in four days and better still in a movie like Titanic we learn that two people can even fall in love in one day . It is these false hopes that make us say that we haven’t seen love, as love like that may not exist.
Let’s face it love would be so great if it could be all these things we are told it is. We all want to live the Romeo and Juliet drama, the love story of “Pride and Prejudice”, “Sons and Lovers”, “A Room with a View”,“Love in the Time of Cholera”, and many other great love stories recorded in the history of world Literature. We all want to dream of a love where right wins over wrong, and where it is ok to die in the name of love. We believe that this is what makes us feel good. We say to ourselves that that this is the only way we can be in love. Songs are not different, Brian Adams says “Please Forgive Me I can’t stop loving you”, where he portrays love as this powerful state of being that intoxicates all our other senses. He makes love seem like that magic force that makes any man or woman swallow their pride. I bet that if you really listen to all love songs fast and slow, Arabic, English, French, or Chinese even, you will find that most of them portray lovers as people with a fallen state of dignity, people with no pride, no control, and no sense of what they are doing.
It is these messages whether from movies, books or songs that make us believe that love is something we need to keep looking for, when in reality love might have passed us by without us paying attention. We may have had it hit us in the face, while we were all just too busy looking to find the state of intoxication, the state that looks, feels, and seems so good. We may have simply given a blind eye to any other more realistic form of feeling which may have been called “love” because we were looking for something else, something that maybe is not real. So, I ask again does it, love if you still insist on calling it that, really exist and if it does why are so many people still single?