Yesterday, as the world celebrated mothers’ day both on Facebook and offline, I spent a good portion of my time doing what most other single people did. I commemorated the occasion by sending sms’s , making phone calls, and forwarding emails filled with kind words congratulating and appreciating the mothers I knew for satisfying their maternal instincts . The plan started out with first degree relatives only on my calling list for the day, but somehow I guess I got a little carried away and the list expanded to include friends, their mothers, and anyone on my friend list on Facebook who was making a big deal about how fabulous their kids are. I figured, moms are truly wonderful and they deserve their day of fame.
In return, I got a good number of thank you’s, you are so sweet, and how thoughtful of you’s which are all fine and good , but then around mid day I got the first out of several dreaded responses for the day. One of the moms I congratulated replied to me saying “May God give you the opportunity to celebrate this day with a kid of your own soon”. This sweet person simply ignored the fact that I may not be a mom, but I still have a mom, may God give her Long Life, and that I would probably be celebrating the day with her and that this alone is a reason to celebrate this day. This response was only to be followed by around two more with content along the same lines, and an even more detailed one later that evening where the well wisher said “I hope to see you next year as a bride and soon after that a mom” . Now hearing those words, which I am sure were said in good intentions , I thought to myself “Wow how impressive ! Now I am even given a deadline”
if I were to take this particular well wisher seriously, I guess I better start hunting for the husband to be right now, and perhaps I am even wasting my time blogging this conversation, when I should be roaming the streets looking. After all, next year, isn’t that far off you know, and according to this person I should get my “act” together by then.
However, putting my sarcastic and somewhat cynical tendencies aside, I did get to thinking about the occasions we celebrate, and I realized something rather interesting. I realized that as we move further along in our single years , the number of holidays set in our honor decrease. The last occasion people celebrate for the single person is his/her college graduation. Granted there is the birthday that comes along every year, but as we grow older we are thought to be pathetic and childish if we still want to celebrate it after a certain age .
Let’s face it in our thirties we tone down the birthday bash so that at best it diminishes to coffee and cake with a few close friends, and in our 40s we might even dispense with the celebration all together.
When it comes to honoring the single person. he/she is set to celebrate occasions at his/her own free will only. For example, if the single person gets a job, he or she is verbally congratulated by a few people, and in fact it is up to him/her to buy sweets for people upon getting the first paycheck. Then, if he/she gets a promotion, the celebration involves him/her buying dinner, lunch, or sweets (7alawan) to the people who care. So really to get gifts, I guess the single person must go to hospital, have surgery, or have any other life threatening experience, like barely make it alive after a car accident. In fact single person even spends years celebrating the occasions and milestones of married friends and family members, and their kids
O n the other side of the occasions spectrum, the married couples in society get so many occasions and commutations in their honor. They get a party for their engagement, a wedding and gifts when they get married, gifts when they buy a house, gifts when they have babies, and they celebrate mother’s day, father’s day, and they also get gifts for their kids achievements too. Even if the married couple were in love before getting married, they would celebrate Valentine ’s Day too. So if you are single person surrounded by married friends and family members, brace yourself because you will be buying lots a gifts, and celebrating many occasions, and in return no one will celebrate you.
This reality doesn’t exist because the single person’s friends and family are evil, but rather it is a social norm created by generations of global communities conditioned to believe that the individual alone doesn’t count . According to this social norm, the human being’s greatest achievement is teaming up with another person and making babies. The language itself is centered around this idea , as it is fused with terms like “the Second half” “Soul mate”, and “significant other”, all three of which allude to the fact that you alone are half a person or that your soul is lonely without a mate, or that you need the “other” to be significant.
To this effect, no card manufacturing company ever create a greeting card that reads happy singles day?, or wow you are still single. You cannot have a single shower, while your married friend can have a baby shower, and you cannot celebrate a holiday called Singles Day, while your married friends and family celebrate anniversaries, mothers’ day, and fathers’ day. So, no wonder everyone wants to get married in love or not . Maybe the single people are just wanting to be considered a significant part of the society too.
In closing, I just want to point out that moms are wonderful human beings, and they are worth the celebration. One day isn’t enough to honor them, and so I sincerely wish any mom reading this a Happy Mother’s Day. As for the single people, well they are survivors . After all, to be single in this world you need to have a great sense of humor and an ability to laugh at yourself and society too. You need to be able to honor yourself, treat yourself, and love yourself. So maybe just maybe, because the single people have these skills they deserve a day for them too. Maybe they need a singles day where the married people celebrate them, just like they spend their time celebrating the milestones of the married people they know.
Happy Mothers’ Day to All Moms


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